Most of us may know this terrible feeling that you’re missing out on something… Just a few minutes ago it hit me again with a big nasty punch in my stomach… I was happily wandering through social network (…bad!!! 😉 ) when I read a comment about a Faithless song which made me wonder – hang on, will they be here for a concert? The reply came the following day. Today. Yes, they were here for a concert… and that was yesterday!
I truly needed a few minutes to recover from the shock… Now, not everyone might understand this. If you’re not into electronic music, then just think of your favourite band. Actor. Writer. Football team. Anything that brings you utter joy. And then finding out they were in your town (ok, or another town nearby) just the day that passed… Does it click anywhere?
I would have been in the greatest mood for them. Their music and their concert would have helped me unload lots of feelings I’m carrying around at the moment and jump and scream around, letting their music touch my soul. It would have been fantastic. It would have been relieving. And I missed it 😦
I struggled with strong disappointment for a few minutes and clicked around some sites to find out where they had been to, and how come I had missed their advertising… I must admit – I don’t read an awful load of magazines or newspapers anymore that would advertise for such concerts. I often stand in front of those advertising columns we’ve got here in the city and check them thoroughly. But those never really advertise much for concerts and events outside of Zürich… To be quite honest – I really actually have no idea how this could have happened as I usually regularly check the websites of my favourite bands for upcoming tours. Usually… (I still can’t explain how this could have happened 😉 ).
Browsing around, I stumbled upon a video of a live version of one of my favourite songs – “I can’t get no sleep”. It wasn’t the most recent video, but it was beautiful. I got goosebumps again. I dove into the music and the feeling that the music brings out of you, felt with the audience as I remembered past shows I’ve seen of them and that strange electricity that went through the air and the audience…
I tried to project my disappointment back into time and change it into a good feeling when thinking of those good memories I’ve had with that song:
Listening to it laying stretched out on the floor with my brother, boxes on both sides of our ears (don’t do that at home!!! 😉 ) and letting the music flow through our bodies.
That song being played when waking us all up at the skiing camp as a teenager – indulged in the warm bed covers with the cold on your cheeks, snuggling in a bit deeper, loving the song but knowing that when the bass sets in, there’s no point in trying to snooze anymore… Anticipating and dreading that moment…
Trying to get fluent in English and learning the lyrics of the rap part by heart – feeling proud when I finally had managed!
Several gigs of them in halls and at festivals, jumping and screaming as if someone with a chainsaw was chasing us.
And as I was watching the video and going through all of those memories and more, I started to feel grateful for them, and I was, after all, lucky enough to have seen them live a few times. Even if I missed this past concert yesterday, it started bugging me less.
There was a time in my life when I thought that every day I was missing out on things. Events. Gatherings. Concerts. Art exhibitions. Movies… Missing out on everything, everywhere. I was trying to “dance at several weddings at the same time”, as we’d like to say it here. It didn’t really go well for too long – it drains your energy and you’re not really happy after all. I came down a lot regarding those things with the years. It could be something that happens automatically when becoming older 😉 Or just the feeling that you’ve seen it all at least once and don’t really need to see/do it again. Or just a common sense that everything is not everything, if you know what I mean. But this experience today made me feel good again, and I’m proud I managed to divert those feelings into something good 🙂
I felt like sharing this with you tonight and who knows, maybe you could try doing so next time you feel similar and it might help you as well? Or how do you deal with that feeling of missing out on things?